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By Steve Rosen
Kansas City Star
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Your teenage daughter is sifting through the jeans racks at the department store when she gives you the gotta-have-it look. The object of her affection: a $200 pair of designer jeans.
Adrian Mastracci, fee-only portfolio manager at KCM Wealth Management in Vancouver, says, "It’s all part of learning to function independently... having a dose of patience helps immensely."
Nearby, your son has zeroed in on a $125 designer-label sweater. He has no qualms asking you to shell out the money.
You react, well, like many parents: “Are you kidding? I’m not paying several hundred dollars for one pair of jeans and a sweater.”
They’re mad at you, you’re unhappy with them, and the drive home ends with a lecture on the ravages of being label-conscious.
Is there a better way to deal with your children’s designer genes?
The best way I know of is to put them on a clothing allowance. That way, their own money — and their own choices — will be on the line when shopping for clothes.
If your daughter receives an allowance of $400 for clothing, for example, she may think twice about dropping half on a pair of jeans. Or, if she opts for the designer label, she’ll quickly learn she’ll have to cut back on the other items on her list or find cheaper alternatives.
Shopping is more real to children when they have to look into their wallet and count out their bills instead of tapping the Bank of Mom and Dad, says Susan Beacham, who runs The Money Savvy Generation, a Chicago area company that promotes financial education.
“When children have to use their own money, not ours, labels matter less,” Beacham said.
If your children are doing a good job of managing their money, this may be the time to test a clothing allowance. Never mind that their new fall wardrobe may be hanging in the closet; retailers say the cooler weather tends to bring out more student shoppers who have now had plenty of time to figure out what’s trendy in school fashion this year. Besides, any parent with kids going through growth spurts knows that the school-clothes shopping season never really ends.
Start by settling on a reasonable amount, say, what you’d typically spend on the children’s clothes each season. You can also use catalogs and online research tools to come up with a budget. Or, for practice during the end-of-year sales season, hand out enough money to cover a couple of purchases and see what your shopper comes home with.
It also may help the pocketbook if your children are required to wear school uniforms (I love uniforms) or if there is a dress code.
Whatever the amount, tailor it to your own situation and family income. For example, you continue to buy the basics — socks, underwear, jackets and shoes, and your children cover the rest.
Janet Bodnar, author of Money Savvy Kids, put her three children on seasonal clothing allowances when they were teens — once in the fall and once in the spring. The clothing allowance didn’t include everything, but worked well.
“We had a $50 sneaker rule,” Bodnar said. “I was willing to spend that much on a pair of sneakers, and if the kids wanted a more expensive pair, they had to make up the difference. I also didn’t include formalwear, like dresses for prom or homecoming. For that, we had separate rules. I had a $100 limit. If she wanted a more expensive dress, she would have to make up the difference, like the sneaker rule.”
The key idea behind a clothing allowance is to give your children responsibility in managing their money. Let them make choices.
They’ll also learn from their mistakes. They may have to make do with last year’s winter jacket because they spent too much for the expensive logoed shirt. But when the clothing money is gone, it’s gone.
It won’t always be easy, and your children may complain to you repeatedly that their friends are wearing trendy designer labels, so why not me? That’s where holiday and birthday gifts come into play.
Children also learn from example. So it’s important for your son or daughter to see you deny yourself some fancy leather jacket or designer dress that you want because it won’t fit your budget.
“It’s all part of learning to function independently”, said Adrian Mastracci, a financial adviser from Vancouver who writes a newsletter on children and money. And as with any experience working with children, Mastracci added, “having a dose of patience helps immensely.”
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